Dom and Tina are the gimpiest couple to ever have graced the Hollyoaks screen. And Jon-Paul, nice going on picking up the fittie!

Surely Craig and Jon Paul can't be leaving? Actually going and leaving us in a lack of gayity!? What will the world come to? Oh alas!

But hey, maybe Rhys will get in on some Sarah action, I mean afterall, "You managed to forgive your Mum!" Haha nice try Rhys. Copping off with your girlfriend's Mum isn't quite a forgivable offence is it? Moron

Frankie: "Craig? Come out wherever you are." Ahahahaha, about time. To be honest Sarah, in that hideous lime-green dress and disgusting gold wedges, you deserved it.

Oh eye eye, the Valentines have got some new additions. Funny how Leo can have sex with two different women and have almost identical children isn't it? And what's this? One's got a bowler hat and reads books on taxidermy? Well! She must be a goth then! Well done Hollyoaks, I'm sure she'll be wondering around plain as Nancy soon enough.

Meanwhile, over at The Dog Craig's got a sour puss on him. Waych out, Jon Paul is on his way! Ready everyone? 1,2,3,4....GASP

Been on holiday have we Louise? Looking a bit panda-eye in court! And Clare...been working out? She actually looks a bit thinner, maybe she had a baby. Anyone?

Oooh old Craigy's gonna be called up on his gay tendencies soon....Spike's already clocked on.

And you may have noticed Craig and Russ on Britain's Next Top Model last night. One of the girls getting all worked up on how Craig is her perfect man because he made her laugh! Christ, I guess Robin Williams is in with a chance as well then eh?

Dun dun DAAAAH! Clare Cunningham is back, oooh...

"What do you think I am? A cammel?"