Hello HozzaOaks

Instead of keeping our Hozza-related angst to ourselves we decided to unleash our fury on the world so that you too can share in our delight and/or disgust at the joy of HozzaOaks*

Let us introduce our rating system.

We shall assign each blog a number of stars, from one to five, to represent our expressions whilst watching an episode of Hozza.

Five stars means that when we sit down on our sofas at 6.30pm, we look like this:








An average episode of Hozza, at three stars:


Of course, sometimes my dear Hozza fans, it can let us down. Sometimes no tears are shed, no shags are had and no one dies. So, with a rating of one star we can't help but feel something like this (we tried to find Craig Dean's classic anger face but there was no google joy):











* roughly translated means Hollyoaks, the most beautious Chester-based soap opera of our time, gracing Channel 4's scheduling since 1995.