Woah, hold the Hollyoaks front page. Who on earth is that gross man with nipples large enough to hang gofers on? His plastic hair that was clearly the thing that repelled Charlie's buggy into retreat. When Hollyoaks decided to to go down the jokey route and make everyone "hot", was there a clause in the contract that enforced an entire male cast of munters? Honestly.

And we're feeling a little sorry for Nile this episode. Sure, he's a psychopath with small devious eyes, but devious-eyed psychopaths have feelings too.